There is nothing fun about bite-sized candy

01 Nov, 2026

I Am the Manager of the Private Equity Firm That Just Acquired the House in Your Neighborhood That Hands Out Full-Size Candy Bars on Halloween - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

"Every kid still walks away with a full-size wrapper. There’s just a fun-size bar inside it now. We tested it, and kids can’t tell until they get home, at which point it’s a parenting issue."

I am that house in our neighborhood. I'm stating now, that no offer high enough that I would relent to give out fun-sized candy bars. There is nothing fun about bite-sized candy.